"" My Opinion on High Budget Wedding & Its Consequences | Talk With Da Silva

My Opinion on High Budget Wedding & Its Consequences


I saw an Episode of one of my Favourite TV programme on Tuesday morning which Topic was "Rape".

While the Hot Topic was being Battered Left, Right and Centre, the Anchor asked one of the Experts who happens to be a guest on the programme that does rape happens in marriages too? There was general laughter but the guest said something that really interested me.

She said No is No, whether you are married or not. She further said according to her understanding the way a woman is married determines her level of dignity in the marriage.

What this means is that some parents do sell off their daughters all in the name of marriage which is true. If a man spends 10m in this hard time to marry a wife that wife might become one of his asset. Instead of the woman to be his soul mate, his subordinate and companion, she becomes one of his property and once something becomes a property of yours you can use it the way you like.

If you have to empty your account just to marry a lady, then the lady becomes your object of submission. You can have sex with her anytime you like whether she likes it or not. You will hardly give her that respect as your wife.

Some men will even turn their wives into punching bag, she has no say in the marriage. Any small thing the man will say "You no know how much your people collect from me? you no know how much I pay for your head? common open your legs before I disfigure you jare"

The woman too will have to obey because what the man is saying is true. But if your parents did not sell you off, your husband has no right to tell you that, infact he can't tell you that.
A Husband is supposed to be caring and understanding, but when you allow your parent to drain your husband pocket all in the name of one unethical custom or tradition, the man will pour his frustration on you at the slightest provocation. If the man is finding it difficult to recover the huge money he spent in marrying you, you become his number one target of Hate. He might start hating on you for no reason.

Of cause we have seen cases where the guy has to run away or call off the engagement with the girl when he visited the girl’s parent and he was presented with a lengthy Biology list of items for the marriage.

Normally wives are supposed to be submissive to their husband but when a man has to use a huge chunk of his capital to marry you, what respect again do you deserve from that man? Your parents sold you off to him so you are one of his possession and not necessarily his companion. 

We all know High Budget marriages is mostly common in the Eastern part of the country and that is why you will see a 50 year old Igbo man still unmarried. Whereas his age mates in other tribes are already grandfathers.

Shebi That was how I asked one of my Igbo friend back then  why some part of Eastern Nigeria charge very high when someone wants to marry their daughter, he said;

"Ehen, why dem no go charge high? After you train your pikin go university finish you no go enjoy her"?

I attacked him immediately with "Is it not the responsibility of parents to cater for their children"? Moreover is it not the same way the girl parent trained her in school that the boys parent did too? If they drained the guys account just because of marriage wetin dem go chop after marriage?

If as a father your daughter cried home from her husband home with a swollen eyes, and you know you did not sell her off, you can yell at her husband and call him to order.

But when you sell her off, that is when you will start telling her marriage is not a bed of roses, that she should be more submissive and enduring.. You will be scared to talk to her husband, you can't withdraw your daughter from the marriage too even if the marriage becomes hell for her because you have sold her off. Shebi she should be more submissive and enduring till her husband will bring her corpse home for burial abi?

Even in relationship, if all you want is a guys money, all he will want from you too will be sex.

Whether you were married with 150k or 5m, marriage na marriage. The most important thing is that your bride price was paid which is the ultimate, every other thing is simply “Notice Me”.

My advice to the ladies is this, when that time comes, don't allow your parent to sell you off all in the name of one custom or tradition o, because the way you were married might determines how you will be treated in the marriage.

I Rest my Case.

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About Jb Da Silva

"Talk With Da Silva’s Blog deals Majorly with happenings around us; ranging from Entertainment Gist to Events Paparazzi, News Updates, Fashion/Lifestyle, Nollywood / Hollywood Buzz, Juicy Gist, Relationship Advice and Tips, Music/Movies, Politics, Sports, Exclusive Interviews and Hot Gossips".
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